How to Find More Personal Peace

1- Forgive Yourself

You are human. You are imperfect by nature, and your imperfection is a gift. Mistakes are an essential part of learning. Overcoming your flaws and picking yourself up when you fail is where the greatest glory and sense of accomplishment come from in this life.

I’m not telling you to settle. I am telling you to accept your imperfection and then do something about it.

Guilt is a useless emotion and comes from a dark source. Guilt causes stagnation, and if you believe in a great enemy, wouldn’t the enemy be the one most interested in you feeling guilty?

Judgment is the opposite of understanding. We only solve our problems through deep understanding of ourselves, not through judgment of ourselves. You cannot understand that which you judge.

So forgive and understand yourself. Then create the version of yourself that you wish to be.

2- Stop Making Assumptions

Assumptions are an automatic response from the brain. The brain hates incomplete pictures and will fill in the blank parts of any incomplete picture. The problem is that we accept the brain’s narrative as fact and then react to the lie.

This is difficult to do and, I would say, impossible to do without a healthy distance from your thoughts and emotions. You need ample space between stimulus and reaction in order to be free to behave however you wish. If you have no space between stimulus and reaction, then you are a slave to your environment.

3- Accept This Fact: Other People’s Behavior Has Nothing to Do with You

Hard to believe, right? Even when they are directing it at you, even when they are pointing the finger and hurling insults, it has nothing to do with you.

The way that we treat people is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves. This does not mean that we have to put up with everyone. You are free to establish boundaries and remove people from your life if needed, but to take their behavior personally is a mistake.

You are just the person in front of them when their own personal pain arises. You are the safest place and most convenient outlet for their pain.